With most of my friends being either engaged, married or married with kids, I quite often wonder about the timing of my life. When to make big decisions? Although it should not matter what others are doing and when, it does affect my emotional state quite frequently. It also puts some kind of invisible pressure on me sometimes which I feel like I don’t want to have. It should not be there. That’s why I have decided to actively change the way I think about the timing of my life and here is how I did it:
Think About the Concept of Time
When we think about it, time is a weird and man-made concept. Many of us are trapped in memories of the past or hopes about the future. Something that they long and aim for, that they will hopefully achieve one day. But fact is: All we ever have is now. The present moment. We can map plans of our life out all we want, all we can ever do is make decisions in the present moment.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it is vital to have goals and a vision what you would like your future to look like. Just don’t be so obsessed over it that you forget what is right in front of you now. The same goes for the past. Your past is important. It has made you who you are. But is is gone and you need to move on from it. And this does not mean that you can’t treasure memories and be grateful for them. Just accept that you cannot rely on the past to shape your present.
Observe Your Energy and Emotions
Another thing that I always try to focus on is my emotional state regarding the things I do. I try to observe the kind of energy I carry. Emotion means energy in motion. Many spiritual teachers and personal development coaches emphasise the importance of our mental energy. If we start a project, no matter how big or small, the energy we carry in the process (positive or negative) will highly influence the energy of the outcome.
This means if I am happy with what I am doing at the present moment and carry positive energy about it, I am more likely to succeed and get where I want to be. Sounds easy. But isn’t always easy at all. And some of the decisions we have to make if we realise that we carry negative energy about something we are involved in will be highly uncomfortable. This could be regarding a job, a uni degree, a relationship, a friendship, a financial decision etc.
Knowing about and observing my energy and emotions has helped me to trust the timing of my life more and make important decisions. Positive energy means I will keep going with something and things will fall into place. Negative energy means I will need to make changes.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Thirdly, it is much easier to trust the timing of your own life if you do not constantly compare yourself to others. Jen Sincero writes in You are A Badass At Making Money: “Avoid comparison like the plague.” I think she is right.
We all know that the lives of others we see portrayed in magazines, on TV and social media are not really as great as they seem or are made to look like. But then a part of us still thinks they have it better. They handle things better. They have got the job, partner, business or the kids we want. And then suddenly our life sucks. That’s why comparison is the thief of joy, as already Roosevelt knew.
To help getting out of the comparison trap we can firstly try to not expose ourselves too much to these accounts, websites and TV shows. Secondly, let’s remember that a person’s outside life does not always reflect their inner life, especially not on social media. Thirdly, let’s take the good things others do and focus on getting ourselves closer to our personal goals. What we admire in others can actually show us what we long for in our personal lives. And then we can take another step on our personal journey of time and timing.
It’s Never Too Late…
I am sure you have come across sign and reminders like “It’s never too late” or “Your time is now”. As cheesy as they sound, they are actually true. It is never too late to make radical life decisions, to change your career, to try something new, to learn a new hobby or to study again.
Sure, age will give you some restrictions on various things, but overall you you can either find a way to get where you want to be or you can find excuses. Age is just a number. Time is just a man-made concept. We all get the same amount of hours in a day to do great things. And it is an illusion that the grass is always greener on the other side.
That’s why I for myself have decided to trust the timing of my life again and be happy for others and what is happening in their lives. Comparing myself to others won’t get me anywhere because I will never have their life anyway. But I can learn to accept my present situation, be grateful for the good in it and work towards my own personal goals. Meanwhile, I trust that everything else will fall into place.