Life Lesson #1: I Have to Change to Stay the Same


Career, Happiness, Life Lessons, Lifestyle, Self Development, Wellbeing / Monday, April 15th, 2019

OR: Why Constant Change is Vital for Personal Growth

New Series, yay!

Welcome to my new life lessons series, where I will go through things I have learnt or realised along the way. I hope you enjoy!

My first life lesson has to do with changes. We need constant changes in life in order to develop, grow as a person and stay true to ourselves. Many people like to settle in their comfort zone, where everything is nice and cosy and there is next to no risk. However, this is toxic to your personal growth and development.

How About Your Life…?

Let’s do a quick exercise: Think of an area in your life where you do not feel in control, where you feel like you need a change or where you would like to achieve something in particular. Have a thought in mind? Ok. Now question yourself: Why are you not moving forward in this area? More than likely, your answer will be fear. Fear that you won’t make it financially, fear that someone may laugh at you or find your idea ridiculous. Fear that you are not good enough to attract that new partner, get that new job you want etc. Fear, fear, fear. As humans, we normally act based on two basic emotions: love or fear. What keeps us from taking the next step is usually the second one, fear.

Facing the Fear

What does this mean for us? It means that we need to accept and name our fears in order to be able to change. Secondly, you will need to state what you want, what you wish for, no matter how embarrassing or ridiculous that may seem to you. The moment you state what you are aiming for, your fear loses power. So think about your situation again. What are you fears? And what would you like to achieve in that area? You need to name it to claim it.

Plan A turns into Plan L

As great as it is to have a goal in mind, you will not be able to go for it 100% all at once. Rather, take the next small logical step towards it. Say you are unhappy in your current job and know you love books more than anything which makes you dream of having your own book store. Instead of quitting your job, renting out a shop, trying to find out how to run a store and getting into debt all at once, slow down. Think of the next small step to get you towards your goal. In this case, why not ask if you could help out part-time in a local book store on weekends? You would get to be around books and meet like-minded people. And you know what? You will soon enough find out that Plan A (owning a bookstore) won’t be your final goal.

Maybe you find out that you actually hate retail, but love discussing books with other people. This could lead to Plan B where you now want to start a book club, interview authors or something similar. Further down the track, you will probably end up with Plan L which is exactly where you want to be. But every other plan along the way was just as important, because it taught you something new or helped you make connections who support you.

Always Changing

And this is why I have found that constant change is necessary for personal growth. You simply don’t know what your end goal will be one day. But if you do not move towards what feels right for you now, you will never get there. This will require change and uncomfortable actions. Frequently. Giving up something or someone you thought was right for you hurts. However, not changing and settling will hurt a lot more. Because you will have to deal with the pain of what could have been.

Transforming Energy of Life

That’s what I love about life: It has transforming energy. If I want to know whether something is a good next step to take, I have to ask whether that thing, course, plan or person naturally energises me. If it does, I go for it. If it doesn’t, I don’t do it or try to do less of it. This transformative energy can only benefit me if I am willing to encounter change, grow as a person and change direction multiple times along the way. But in the meantime, I can only be on the right path. And in my opinion that is absolutely worth it.

My Book Tip

If the topic of this blog post really resonates with you, I can recommend listening to Mel Robbins’ book Take Control of Your Life: How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game. You get to listen to coaching sessions she did with six different people and how she helped them overcome their fears and initiate change. I especially like the fact that you are able to listen to both sides and actually hear the people talk about their fears themselves. The book is available on audible if you are interested.

Hope you have an amazing week everyone and don’t let the fear win. Ever.

Lots of love,

Felicia

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Disclaimer: This post includes an affiliate link, which means I will earn a small percentage of the product price if you choose to purchase something.

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